[Giles' "Song"]
Book 'em, Dawn-o !!
This guitar is not (a weapon)
...It's a uke' !!
Have you seen my Hawaiian shirt ?
My 'mudas ? Oops, my mistake.
Sorry for attempting the slang
Not that you could call it slang.
As Dr. Johnston said in his volume on...
Where did they go ? Far from here...
Who loves ya', baby ?
Lolli-pop, lolli-pop. Ooh, la, la...
Not really my thing, you know ?
I used to be somebody !!
"Dave T. Ripper"
And I was... would have been...
One of the Beatles... support bands
If I'd had a coupla' friends. Or one.
Wait a minute...
"Book... 'em, Dawn-o"
"Who loves ya', baby ?"
Of course ! I know who I am now...
I was a member of... the Police !
Well, I thought it was quite funny actually.
A sort of Wilde wit with just a touch of -
Ham. Yes, thank you so much... dear
Yes, I'm coming out of the bathroom now
Say goodnight to the folks, Grease-y.
Now that's an idea... for "Tomorrow"
[The Master's Song]
Is it the teeth ?
Are they too white ?
Is it the lips ?
...Stick on... not right ?
I guess the reason must be
Why these teens all hate me...
'Cos I'm the old-est singer in town
No boy bands appear
No girl groups are here
Just those on whom I call
Like Angels... they fall
They come to me
Their "singin'-ringin' (ances')-tree"
Cos' I'm the old-est singer in town
'Twixt Vamps and Humans
The old-est singer... in this town
[Anya's Song]
"Chas and Dave" ?
I've... never heard of them.
They did... WHAT song ?!
Huh ! I'll show them !
"Cute and furry" ? Mmm-hmm.
"Cute and furry" ? Uh-huh ?
"Cute and f...urry" ? Oh, right ?!
"Cute and... and..."
"It must be... b-reak time"
Oh...YES it IS !!
[Joyce Summers' Song]
Oh, those Summers' fights...
Tell me more ! Tell me more !
Did she shut up or fight ?
Tell me more ! Tell me more !
Did she hit left then right ?
She went crazy... "dusting her friend" ?!
This young lady's... at my tether's end
What shall I do - to her
Do to her ?
To make it end ?
Am I a parent or her best friend...?
Summers' neat... trio's complete
Oh, oh ! Now the problem's got worse...
Tell me more ! Tell me more !
Who started this trend ?
Tell me more ! Tell me more !
Was it me or her friend(s) ?
How will these worries...
Come to an end...
Oh ? Oh...? Oh........
"Summers' pay's...
You - won't - get - a - raise"
Oh.
But... maybe Willow, her friend...
But...
Only if you... worrrk the... niiiights Don't tell me more Don't tell me more
I just want it... to end !!
[Principal Snyder's Song]
Snyder can. Snyder can
Does whatever a teacher** can('t)
Spins his head**, rolls his eyes
Catches teens, tests their lies
Look out! Here comes a Snyder who... CAN !!
"Bee's" real strong, he's a BUD !
He's an active... radio "jock" :
"Should they swing"... by their head ?
Unlike Buffy... HE'LL - stay dead !
There goes - there goes the Snyder who can !
With a shrill at the sight
at the scene of a crime
With a face, ghostly white...
he derides hal'ween time
Look out ! There goes a spineless man...
There goes a horrid man...
There goes the man who ran...
To Hell: The man who... can...
[The Mayor's Song]
"This... is the town that Dick built."
Excuse me please, there ARE children present.
Quite right, too. When I was a boy we... I'll continue
"This... is the town that Dick built.
This is the vault that lay in the safe that Dick built.
This is the demon that ate the babies
that lay in the town that Dick built."
"This is the parent all forlorn..."
I think this line's mostly... corn... I'll continue.
"This is the girl that killed (GRRR) the demon
That ate the babies that lay in the town that Dick,
yours truly - though I'm not a self-publicist, built."
Written/Produced/Distrbuted By Richard Wilkins III.
[Spike's Alternative Alternative "My Way"]
And now...
my "friend" is near
It's time at last...
To meet "the" final skel'ton
That face...
Just one I fear...
Ain't shaped at all...
Like any other...
He steals a cig...
And then a match...
That bloody pig...
I will soon "catch"...
His weight ain't small...
Like Humpty's wall...
It soon will crack...
My aching back...
Ain't not hea-vy
Nor weightless be...
It's... my light... bro-ther
This relationship with Spike
will self-destruct in five episodes.......
[Russell's Song]
At a Buffy and Angel theme party...
1) Forget playing the old "air guitar"...
try solo air kissing the Buffy theme
2) Try rubbing the sleeve of a leather jacket
to the (light rock cello) Angel theme tune.
Or blowing across the top of a bottle ?
3) Hey, don't blame me. If DW fans have
a key dragged across a piano wire for
the police box dematerialisation sound...
4) Try not to imitate sad obsessive BandA fans
5) Sign up today to become a sad obsessive BandA fan !
Free membership for the over-600s
will be provided
upon demonstration of teeth and
glass of water (aaah...)
(Advice To)Potential...
Upon Meeting The First (Vampire)
Relax !
Kung-fu it !
Put a big stake through it !
Relax !
Kung-fu it !
If you want...
to stay...
a-live...!
[Lilah (the Lawyer)'s Song]
Tried, tried, trie-d...Lilah
Lied, lied, lied... beside 'er
But now that she finds me a bore...
E-ven though that I break down the door...
Forgive me there, Lilah
The stunt double's acting is poor...
Forgive me there, Lilah
The stunt double's acting is poor, poor...
Yes, poooooor !