DIMENSION FOUR
Guide To Alien Races
(Excluding the English... Derby)
They're... (all) here...
Except for the 'ST' ones, of course. And those from B5...
and all the other SFTV the studio won't let me mention.
Like --- (the Invisible Fan it would seem).
Anyway I don't believe in aliens...
If they did exist... they wouldn't call themselves
by an English word like 'aliens'
No they'd call us 'Clin-tons' or...
'Walkie Tall-ies' or... 'Harmony fair play' (a reference to
our grooming habits - washing the blood from our hands after
every 'necessary' internal dispute...)
Yup, aliens do not exist. Unless... Descartes was an alien !
"I think... therefore I am not !!"
Yes, I can see it now (if I squint a bit and stand on my head)
Descartes... Cartesian co-ordinates. Yes, yes !
We live on a sphere... but we're being forced to use...
rectangular co-ordinates !! It's a geometry. Er, conspiracy.
All those mathematics professors... have been
deliberately making it difficult for us.
So that we won't want to look at Mathematics ever again...
and discover our geometry - spherical co-ordinates.
But they've anticipated some of us - the, ahem, chosen few
discovering what they're up to and investigating these
spheres.
Hence - you can't tell which way up they are !
The Pyramids... are just a red herring.
Yes, they were built by 'ancient astronauts'... to trick us.
And the art form known as 'cubism' - another decoy !
Oh, what a tragedy when I tell the world...
Live on 'It's Carmen !'... and 'Here's Freddy...' and -
I'm rich ! RICH ! RICH !!! Unless they're planning to blow
up the Earth, of course. Well it worked for the V----s.
Is that the origin of the destructive device used in...
'A.N. Other' SFTV series... the V---- torpedo ?
It's ANOTHER conspiracy !
I'll be the next Bill Gates... damn, they've thought of that as well.
Just when I thought I discovered the last best chance for... DAME FORTUNE.
You win, Guise - (Their spelling not ours)
- Take me... to your leader...
Aliens - run for home !!!
NEWSFLASH ! Here is the latest on the (gulp) aliens...
Apparently they're speaking strange languages... and riding horses !
The English are coming ! The English are- NOT... coming.
Apparently it's four o'clock.
(What's the smiley for 'raised eyebrows' or 'shrugged shoulders' ?)
(Or... the English Ambassador is about to give me a right good -)
Can't have that sort of language on the Internet, can we ?
Now that order has been restored here is the other link...
Good Evening and welcome to 'The Other Link' - the incisive
spoof that does mock English television's art programmes.
And here to discuss that very point is... ZZZZZZZ...
The Other Link... to a
website far, far - removed...
from the original text... and thus not plagiarism.
Your Honour. Ma'am. Oh... that Ma'am ? Dinner, dinner -
Sorry. Wrong homophone. Whadda ya mean he's grown up ?
Charles will always be 'Junior'...