Russell Smart

Poems and Songs


"If music be the fool of love... (Return to the non-music pages)...

POEMS
SONGS

Playful
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Crossed Lines
It would be wrong
to write a long song
To say what you do
that makes me love you
But if it's too terse
that would be worse
So I'll finish this rhyme
It will finish on time

It would be right
to sit down and write
About all of the things
that are a delight
For the world and for me...
and yourself would make three

For you I'd do more
Even count up to... four
For the world, me and you
No, let's stay with two
If we multiply maybe...
we will add... a new baby

Am I making a fuss ?
Should it be 'we' or 'us' ?
But I am making sense
Let's pull down the fence
Let's put down some roots
and live in cahoots
It's a place that I've seen
around Gretna Green

What an affair...
It is to get there
Let's put up a fence
This is where our love ends
There will be no more
'Tween people next door
From now on - it's war...
Au revoir, mon amour...

Playful Poems List


Science Fiction Contention
Noise within
and noise without
In space no-one
can hear you... shout

The ship is home
A ship of stars...
They've passed the port
And now pass Mars...

The stars within
The stars without
They join their clans ;
"The truth is out -"

"To boldly go..."
and watch the show
To touch the hand
that can "Make it so"...

Some 'aliens' say
"We're now resuming..."
To make such props
must be time costuming...

And when at last
the ship "sets sail"...
A million fans
begin to wail

As from that ship
replete with ratings
A warning sho(u)t
"Why are we waiting ?!"

"Who will be
the captain next ?
From what planet ?
How are they sexed ?"

A cheer goes up -
A show that's new...
"The name of the place...?"
Babyxprise... Two !!

Playful Poems List


Spanner In The Works
Stretching, reaching
near completion
Still a bridge
that's not too far

This is much worse
it's far too terse
What a worthless
designer you are

What do we say ?
"Like the bridge of Tay ;
Some bits fell off
during the night" ?!

What a disaster
Despite all the laughter
The left half
does not reach the right

There's only one hope :
That's to use a long rope,
Lasso the far end
much nearer

Except there's some fog
that hampers the job
We shall wait until
target's much clearer

The public won't pay
for a bridge that's one-way
Financiers won't sink...
in their tanners

There's only one fix
that's to go round to Rick's
And hope he has
much bigger spanners

Playful Poems List


Respectful
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The Sunshine Cat
calls the kettle black
As she strives for perfection
without breaking her back
As she thrives on affection
which she'll never lack

Now Rudyard's cat
walked tall and proud
Sometimes he settled
And sometimes he scowled
But not this here kitten
In her heart's...not allowed

But if your albedo
reflects little light
A shadow may fall
obscuring the sight

But though you've done wrong
she'll not drive you from town
Yet your heart's still hurting
at letting her down

Yet chances are many
Not one, two or few
Her forgiving nature
Makes age-d friends feel new

But just in case
my tone is not certain
I'll now pull down
the final verse/curtain

My respect and my truth
Some flaws, but most not
For the sunshine cat
Deserves all whom she's got

Respectful Poem List


Thoughtful
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Hyper-Power Station
All this constant belching
is just not on, old son
Didn't friends or parents
teach you right from wrong ?

We are the wise children
and here is our song ;
"Fossil-derived fuels
soon will all be gone"

What will that then leave us ?
Do you really know ?
A chimney and some towers
A concrete volcano

They are not so dormant
And neither are we
Extinction will await them
Willpower is free !

So what will warm and drive us
when fossils are not there ?
Lots and lots of energy
as protesters belch hot air...

Thoughtful Poems List


Nothing Between
It's been thirty years
And I've never moved
I mean my ears
They've not improved

Stan Laurel could
And so could Dumbo
Though I'm not too sure
About Lt. Columbo

Some people say,
"It matters not
if your ears
a fly could swat..."

But as I'm deaf
they are no use
I havena moved
I dinna mean house

They do not hear
Nor over there
They do not flap
They do not care !

Old Van Gogh
knew what to do
He finished with one
having started... with two

But all I ask
is a little wave
In return for those deeds
that I gladly gave...

Poking, scratching
wax extracting...
Will the ear-waves
see no action ?

It seems I must
be resigned to my fate
To feel a breeze
I must further wait...

It's been thirty years...
And I've never moved...
From a box that's hidden...
And wooden roofed...

Thoughtful Poems List


The Three-Sided Dream
China, USA, Russia
A 'CUR' that forms a team
Pulling rickshaw, dogsled, troika
Running over the three-sided dream

Behind a curtain of bamboo
A country so stubborn, but keen...
With honourable Westerners' shampoo
But with honour... they wash their hands clean

Behind a curtain of freedom
Where the best things in life... have a fee
Free from knowledge you're able to be dumb
With no mind's eye just what can you see ?

Behind a curtain of iron
Where 'Pravda' is not what it seems
Our friends, or our foes, have been lying
Why else would they keep swapping teams ?

From three sides there comes a fourth (letter)
In the alphabet twice taken from Greece
A triangular capital delta
With which you sleep soundly in peace

Delta waves roll over the tidemark
As you roll over and get comfy in bed
They separate fact from surreality
As dreams cross their threshold - your head

Whilst the rest of the body is sleeping
The brain only mimics the dead
And though the Intelligentsia's been resting
The spider will soon leave its web

"Life's a dream", they do say - thus lives nowhere
And the 'CUR' also wants life to die
Using weapons they forged in their nightmares
Should we really "let sleeping dogs lie" ?

Three Graces, Three Fates and Nine Muses
A product of Greek maths it would seem
Or is it; Truth, Honour and Knowledge
That sums up the three-sided dream ?

What contrasts a dream from a nightmare ?
Ideology... in the extreme
Turns into an act of delusion
And the laughter... turns into... a scream...

Thoughtful Poems List


Ballad
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Emotion Impossible
Outsides... and insides...
Just what do they mean ?
Where does one stop
and the other begin ?

How deep is the ocean ?
Still waters can seem
to have enough depth to
hide a 'yellow' submarine

The iceberg's still warmed
from the sun up above
It's only cold til'
ignited by love

Love can evolve
And even revolve
To seek out a new life
New problems to solve

Crazy or fevered ?
Head over heel ?
Always remember to
live a life that's real

Grasping at straws
is a game for the young
So many are frightened
to be burnt by the sun

Even the iceberg has
lows and its highs
Even its temperature
can fall or rise

And all of your judgements
are based on - you see...
only one ninth of what
lies 'neath the sea

Impassible icebergs
Impossible odds
Wake up to Humans
Dream not of Gods

Improbable's battle
can sometimes be won
Impossible's battle
will go on and on...

To flee from one battle
you must break the mould
Daedalus' son did
not want to feel cold

Only... the journey...
seems too far to go
Only the journey
can turn ice to snow

We all know each journey
begins with one pace
So start treading water
Show us your true face

Iceman... then Snowman...
then Merman... then who ?
Our primeval kindred climbed
out ; why can't you ?

They journeyed beyond
their own final frontier
They journeyed with hope
They journeyed with fear

But still they did journey
They never went back
Occasionally looking
they still saw their track

They progressed beyond
impossible odds
They journeyed together
Not alone, but no Gods

And still we must journey
Our trek never ends
Foes we must battle
to make them our friends

And what of the iceberg ?
Has it crumbled... or no ?
But some of the ice
starts melting to snow...

Songs - Ballad List


Country
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Philosophy Rules "No Way"
You're looking for answers
You're looking for signs
You're rootin' for chances
in a field full of mines

You've managed thus far
to keep your head out the sand
But still you need someone
who'll give you a hand

But everyone's passing
And not just the buck
No answers to your questions
They all seem dumb-struck

And just when you're feeling
the end... is in sight...
It seems that the wrong
will soon be put right...

Step... back from the roadside
Give way to the flow
Despite their great hurry
They've nowhere to go

They're just on a treadmill
A roundabout road
The laws they're imposing
Make you break the code

Step back from the roadside
And walk through your mind
The journey ends never
But there's something you'll find...

Despite all the 'Stop' signs
When they say 'Give Way'
Remember that Rome wasn't
built in a day

Someone had to stand up
and plan it, not pray
Believing in Humans
Not as God's toys to play

They moved past the gates
that had locked themselves in
By thinking and talking
they don't lose, but win

So when someone tells you
"You're only a fool"
Remember philosophy's
one golden rule :

The greatest, from the good
Not the least, from the cruel
The many gain pleasure
because they're the tool

From all walks and backgrounds
The wise ones or not
The traffic's not "One-Way"
Enjoy all we've got

Step back from the roadside
And walk through your mind
The journey ends never
But there's something you'll find...

Be objective
not objective
Be not cruel
to be kind

Step... back from the roadside
And walk through your mind
A song must end sometime
And now is it's time...
Step... back from... the roadside...

Country Songs List


Stop The Worlds I Want To Get One
For so many choice
comes from Mister Hobson
"I am always right.
And you're always wrong."

So many people
choose what they will see
"I stand on my ground.
And you're beneath me."

But think for a moment
if the world's round
Then somebody's ceiling
is somebody's ground

Two eyes may seem
to give all that you need
But two worlds can leave you
with more to succeed

Which choice will you make ?
How do you know ?
Whether to take
or give, to stay... or go

Two worlds both spinning
can act like a mill
Grinding you down
If too close ; they will kill

Distance can be
the worst of each world
Freedom ; abandoned
But grit makes it pearled

Grinding you down
loses rough edges too
Which world would you choose
Number One... or Two ?

"What do you really want ?"
stays in my head
The answer we'll find
but after... I'm dead

When all the rough edges
have been smoothed around
You'll find I'm a circle
Like a world... in the ground

And then the quotation
Will change - just you see
"Which world would you choose...
One, Two... or Three ?"

And each time this happens
more options are found
Shared with the world
Hobson's long gone to ground

There are more worlds than two
And more people within
More options than Hobson's
Ground together ; we'll win

Country Songs List


Reggae
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Tropical Parodies
Election... defection
Is why I end up here
(Why I end up here ?)
Salooning or ballooning
Is the only hot air here
(Only hot air here)
Delicious, not malicious
Is how you greeted here
(How you greet a deer...)

Lyin' - if you's tryin'
Is on the beach, and not the box
Expenses, like defence is
On this island, on the rocks
Fishin' - bet you's wishin'
We maintains the local stocks

Third world islan'
Next to Ireland
The truth is what you fear
(Truth is what you fear)
'Cos me is smilin'
On me islan'
With UK money hidden here

Cayman see'd me
'Cos he greedy
From his island, on the rocks
(I land, [on the rocks]...)
City banker
Rhymin' slang-a
We people racists always knocks

We mustn't grumble
Always humble
To UK masters, or dey slave ?
(Or-der slave...)
Money's power
Not Big Ben tower
Where you think they all behave

Come (s)election
Gross misdirection
Keeps your money in their box
So come and join me
Don't disappoin' me
Leave yuk-key island 'on the rocks'...

Reggae Songs List


Playful Top Of The Page


A-lie-Nation of Dog Lovers
(To the tune of "The Magic Roundabout)"

How many Britons
truly love their kittens ?
Why do you think cats
always hide up trees...?

Are we a nation
with dogs ; sali-vation
Or is our response
simply Pav-lov-ian ?

Animal or Human ?
Britons who're assumin'
There is a difference: bark
up the wrong tree.

Cogi-tating nation
Veggie-hating nation
Eat me or beat me
You're kind to me ?!

Too many babies
So little rabies
"Humans versus Animals"
Has gone to penalties...

Playful Songs List


New English National Anthem
(To the tune of "The Archers"
For B. Connolly - great minds think.)

We all live in England here
because it's green and lovely.
All the houses are so dear
and none of them are too hovel-ly.

Though our Queen is London found
she'll never be "in a city"
Anyone suggesting that... is bound
to get on her... wick, see.

Up the dales and down the hills
and round and round in cars we...
Commute to work from the countryside
"escaping" the inner-city.

And now at last the anthem's done
We've had enough of leisure
Please feel free, dear majesty...
To entertain me "at your pleasure".

[Monarchy = Mutual Slavery.  End it now.]

Playful Songs List


Ten Clean Counters
10 clean counters
on the In-ter-net

10 clean counters
on the In-ter-net

But if one clean counter
should accidentally fail...

There'd be...
nine million, six hundred
and thirty-eight thousand,
four hundred and twenty-two
(and that's just today !!)
nice "clean" counters
on the In-ter-net.

Playful Songs List


Sky Blues Anthem
They're football greedy
They're football sad
Their sponsors have stopped laughing
'Cos they've never had it so bad

The Premiership is failing
The Nationwide's been beat
TV won, but football lost
'Cos with whom they shared their sheets

Their football's lazy
Their football's plaid
Despite their bright team colours
It's "the Blues" that mean they're sad

There's funny and there's money
And sometimes black (**) is right
Except when that their referee (**)
Is total, bloody sh-addup !!

Their football maybe
A game of just two halves
If so then, the best's yet to come
When we shall have some laughs

This channel's not for crossing
That boat's been long since burnt
They're now sinking, they're not swimming
Lessons that we've learnt

Their football days are
Numbered like on shirts
We'll countdown from thirty-one
That really, really hurts

These football songs are
Dis-har-mon-i-ous
What's the reason ?
End of their season...
...Lyrics wrote by Russ

Playful Songs List


You Need (Science Fiction) Fans
You need fans...
to hold you back
from act-ing

You need fans...
to pes-ter you in malls

You need fans...
to... sup-port (?)
falling ratings

You need fans...
to par-rot curtain calls

But... the greatest fans of all
Are the ones shot by... a wall (?!)
'Cos now they "boldly go"...
No-where-at-all... (**)

(**)Dream sequences, time paradoxes, doppelgangers and... advertising demographics... excluded
Exit - Stage Left, pursued by... a cute furry piece of merchandising...  

Playful Songs List


Star T'Packing
There's... Clintons in the Senate now
Senate now
Senate now
There's... Clintons in the Senate now
(Shrugs)Um ? So, what ?!

Vote checking...
Will cost U.S. much worse
Always owing Greenbacks
Because (they) can't find their purse

Vote checking...
Across the U.S.A.
Wot no... valid votes in ?
...Chad - you'll have to pay !

There's... Clintons in the Senate now
Senate now
Senate now
There's... Clintons in the Senate now
(Shrugs)Um ? So, what ?!

It's a form of lie
But not as we know it
Not as we know it
Not as we know it
It's a form of lie
But not as we know it
His (career's) dead, Him !

Star Trekking...
The Mirror Universe
They're all hiding here now
Because ratings got worse

Start Wrecking...
The fans are so perverse
They have killed their on(c)e king
"My Klingon for a hearse" ?!

Playful Songs List


Manifesto Shanty
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
Post-Landslide Election...?

Who cares ? Just sell all the good bits !
Who cares ? Just sell all the good bits !
Who cares ? Just sell all the good bits !
Peasants are revolting !!!

What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
PRE-General Election...?

Say : we've... been friends for ages !
Say : we've... been friends for ages !
Say : we've... been friends for ages !
And LOOK like we mean it !!!

What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
What shall we do with the Public Sector ?
Mid-Term misdirection...?

Fool them - the sheep are grazing !
Fool them - the sheep are grazing !
Fool them - the sheep are grazing...
...Surly and they're boring !!!

Who cares... if they don't vote now ?
Who cares... if they don't vote now ?
Who cares... if they don't vote now ?
LAzy BOring URbanites...

Playful Songs List


The Only Comedy We've Got...
No brand new acts
On your TV
No brand new gags
For you, for me

'Cos wearing thin
is where it's got with me
Just three... legged nags
from which you can't flee

But here's the one
that's driving me beserk...
Why not put some NEW
wri-ters to work ?

Now, now, now, now, now
New, new, new
Now, now, now, now, now
New, new, new

So let us flog it...
Now, now, now !
So let us flog it...
And how, how, how !

The only com-edy we've got...
Only com-edy we've got...
Only com-edy we've got...

(Notes: Repeat Endlessly...)

Playful Songs List


The Cello Bows Of Texas
Oh, the... cello bows of Texas must
not be played upside-down
'Cos we have found the normal way
Makes the best pluckin' sound

Now you may think
We've closed our minds
To trendy, liberal ways
But when it comes to cello
'Tis the "loanster" who they pays

Playful Songs List


The Heavenly Bill-Stickers
Come and listen to my story
About a movie studio head
A poor financier
Barely kept them out the red

Then one day he was shooting another fool
When up from the crowd came a 'burgling creed'
Old, that is
Black and white.
Six-ties

The next thing you know
Ol' head's a millionaire
His king-fund said,
"Head, movies are unfair !"
They said, "Collating fortune's
The prize you outta seek."
So they lied about the trick
And they moved to sol-ven-cy.
Piles, that is.
Short-sighted fools,
No vis-tas...

Playful Songs List


12 Days Of Star Trek
On the 1st day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
A part in the eleventh movie.

On the 2nd day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 3rd day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 4th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 5th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 6th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 7th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 8th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
8 Minds a-melding...
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 9th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
9 Deep Space coming (back)...
8 Minds a-melding...
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 10th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
Type 10 Phasers firing...
9 Deep Space coming (back)...
8 Minds a-melding...
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 11th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
11 Datas dancing...
Type 10 Phasers firing...
9 Deep Space coming (back)...
8 Minds a-melding...
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

On the 12th day of shore leave,
my T'hy'la gave to me ;
12 Borgs a-beeping...
11 Datas dancing...
Type 10 Phasers firing...
9 Deep Space coming (back)...
8 Minds a-melding...
7 Swashbuckling Sulus...
6 Genes a-mazing...!
5 Com-mand discs (Commodore).
4 Hailing ships...
3 Ferengi pods...
2 shuttlecraft...
And a part in the eleventh movie.

Playful Songs List